Planning a wedding can be a costly and time-consuming activity. You might have your heart set on that big society wedding with all the fancy and fluffy trimmings, but it's important to consider the costs and the financial drain on starting your life together.
Couples are paying more for weddings than ever before. It’s not unusual to spend a year’s worth of joint paychecks on a one-day event, which can put a serious hole in the pocket when it comes to starting your life together as a married couple. Let’s think seriously about what you’re spending and why.
Planning Your Wedding Budget
If you’re getting married, it’s probably not just for legal or obligatory reasons. A wedding is a celebration of you both publicly proclaiming that you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you want everyone you love to know about it. It’s a special day, but it is only a one-off event. If you want the big fancy wedding because your best friend had one, because you’ve always known it’s going to be "the best day of your life," or because the snazzy trappings event itself is more exciting and glamorous than taking vows to be together with your partner – maybe rethink things right now.
Planning a wedding on a budget doesn’t mean it can’t be a beautiful and significant day, however. It just means you have some perspective on what’s important in your relationship, and if it’s not going to be materialistic, that’s is a great start to your life together.
Make mutual decisions about what the most important things are to you both for the day. If it’s the fabulous dress, the great DJ, having all your family there, the cathedral venue you’ve always loved, or the tropical honeymoon, make a note of it.
Then make a list of the things that are far less important to you: do you really need bonbons on all the tables, professional photos, the swanky function centre, six bridesmaids to dress, and hundreds of guests? Where exactly do you want to be spending your money? How relevant is everything else?
Keeping Perspective
Magazines, movies and celebrity news push us to think weddings have to be big and expensive to be meaningful, but simple intimate events using romantic elements that have special significance to you are actually far more real beautiful than the fake Hollywood glamour. Think about ways to keep things simple and relevant to you and your relationship, rather than falling for the generic marketing ploys.
Consider this: you’re not likely to wear your wedding outfit again. Do you actually need the designer dress, or would a cheaper, rented or borrowed one honestly still look as lovely on you?
Who do you know who would love to be involved in your event in their professional capacity or to help you out with their favourite hobby skill? How about the auntie who makes cakes, the uncle with the great car, the cousin who is a photographer or your brother the printer?
Carrying roses from his grandmother’s garden, having your old school friend sing at the ceremony, making the old family mini van the bridal party’s "party" van, and baking the groom’s favourite homemade cupcakes for the wedding cake are going to be more memorable and special when you look back, rather than any more expensive or fancy options.
Reasons to Keep Costs Low
You might of course be lucky enough to having family willing to foot the bills for your wedding, though more and more couples are eager to pay for their nuptials themselves.
The drawback of accepting finances from family to pay for your wedding means the donors will feel they now have a legitimate reason to be involved in all areas of decision-making, as it’s their money. Unless you’re careful, this can lead to conflicts and arguments that are the last thing you want associated with your special day.
Consider not being beholden to anyone and being able to make all the decisions for yourselves by accepting the financial responsibility of your own wedding. If family aren’t able or willing to help out in other ways such as those mentioned above, you might like to open a bank account and allow them to give a wedding present that goes towards your first home or your honeymoon expenses.
Remember: anything that goes wrong on the day will be a great story to tell afterwards, anything you don’t spend on the wedding will go towards more important things in the long run as you start your life together, and being in control of your finances and focused on being in love and getting married to each other (not on spending money and having a wedding) is what really counts. Good luck!
Kim Edwards - Dr. Kim Edwards holds a PhD in literature, and when not teaching English, drama, cabaret or writing, she is a freelance writer, scholar, ...
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